FRANCIS HAVERKATE. This is my grandmother. I am always surprised how much I look like her, especially in old age. She was a tall young woman, 5'10" but a woman of style and prestige in the small community of Montague, Michigan. Her parents helped establish the Methodist Church there, and Francis was active in all church and community activities. Her height may have sent her into spinsterhood, but I find that difficult to imagine, as she was lovely. with a beautiful smile. In the midst of her busy life, she met at a church social the young man who was to become her husband. His name was Joseph Allen. The year was 1910.
JOSEPH H. ALLEN. You would have to look far and wide to find a man as beautiful as Joseph Allen. He was not tall, only 5'6".=, but fairly average for that era. When you think of a beautiful angel, you might have pictured him; he had such angelic beauty. Pale blond hair and a beautiful face. I would imagine all the young ladies swooned for him. He was a sharecropper (a farmer who farms on leased land, for a share of the crops), but he was also a wealthy land owner from the Hart, Michigan area. His property was further north in Michigan, and he owned 360 acres; according to census records the average farm was 40-50 acres, so he clearly was a wealthy landowner. How or why he left that property, we don't know. Perhaps it was to look for a wife. He certainly picked the cream of the crop. He married Francis Haverkate on March 1, 1911. Francis and he had six children, four boys and two girls. He was a vicious man, beating his boys unmercifully for any infraction of his rules, and if they cried he would beat them until they stopped, telling them boys don't cry - only sissies cry. My father was the eldest, and he learned at an early age to not show emotions, most of all crying. He cried in private most of his life. The two girls, Dora (oldest) and Addie were the target of Joseph's perversity. He introduced each of the girls to sex as soon as they began their menstrual cycles. He had them bathed and brought to him by their mother - at least monthly over the next few years. When they became pregnant, he tied them to the kitchen table and performed abortions on them. Addie escaped when she was 16, and died in her twenties. Dora began rounds of prostitution while in her teens. One of the boys, Edward, committed suicide in his 30's.
I don't know why my grandmother allowed herself to be manipulated in such a manner. I saw with my own eyes how loving she was with her sons. I can only suppose that she, too was a victim. I know nothing to tell me otherwise, and certainly have heard no negative from her sons, or daughter. At any rate, until the girls could break free, they were subject to incestuous rape. Dora went to the police and reported the crimes when she was 17, and an investigation ensued. When the district attorney had the case in order, he issued a warrant for Joseph's arrest. At that time, Joseph was suffering late stage melanoma. When he heard of the warrant, he went to bed, claiming cancer prevented him from arrest. He died two weeks later. He was 52 years old; the year was 1940.
EXODUS 34:6-7
Then the Lord passed by in front of him [Moses] and
proclaimed, "The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and
gracious, slow to anger and abounding in loving
kindness and truth, who keeps loving kindness for
thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin,
yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished,
visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the
grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.
From this scripture, I know the depraved, perverse nature existed at least two generations before my grandfather. How do I know? Because I know the Lord's voice, and I have come to understand and trust when He tells me the curse has ended with me.
There have been things in my life, such as the sexual assaults on both my children, which made me question if I had I had misunderstood. The truth is, none of our family members committed these crimes. The curse from generations past stops with me. Did it damage our family? Oh, yes. And the scars are still there. Bur the Lord heals, and our grandchildren have come through clean, into adulthood. Meanwhile, the spiritual assault of the curse presses against me, trying to find a way in. I will not yield to it. It hisses and spurts vile things at me, so I throw myself at the feet of my Master. I can't do this without Him, and I sorely need the support of praying family and friends. When it sees too much to bear, I can only look to Him. I need time apart from people, to be rested and restored in Him. I need my church family for strength and exhortation. Oh, how I wish I could explain fully how important the days of rest in the Lord, and with the body of Christ is.
I ponder all these things, as I sit with God, today, trying to put my thoughts in proper order. As always, the urge is on me to walk away from this, as we have not really begun, here, God and me. We are simply laying the foundation for the rest of the story. It is important for us to do so, because only forgiveness could bring me this far - forgiveness of others, forgiveness of myself. I must tell my story, but I must let you see it through the eyes of forgiveness. For if I don't, how then can I help others who are looking for the light?
How is this possible? To write without a jaded view of these people, of these circumstances, of these events? It is possible because of love. God's love. God is love. He has His hand on me, as He has since the moment He wove me together in my mother's womb.
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| Those things which seem impossible are always possible with God. |
ROMANS 12:20-21
On the contrary, "If you enemy is hungry, feed him. if he
is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap
burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil,
but over come evil with good".
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